


Title Of Your Sextape

by moorauders



Series: B99 AU [1]
Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV) Fusion, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Fluff and Humor, Lee Taemin is a Little Shit, M/M, but we love him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-23 15:25:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17686070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moorauders/pseuds/moorauders
Summary: Taemin takes Minho on a date.





	Title Of Your Sextape

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rydellon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rydellon/gifts).



> so welcome to my b99 au because not only do I love this show, I love SHINee so uhh, here's a mess  
> Although it isn't a (very) formal dedication i still dedicate this to my friend  
> Une - i figured you might want to see what kind of crackhead my brain is and then this is the kind of shit it produces so uh  
> and, Deux - i wanted to give u another gift because u've been nothing but a good friend to me and i really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.
> 
>  
> 
> this has also been in my drafts for a while so i dont expect it to update very fast. it's just a couple of ideas here and there that i plan on messing around with that follow the plot of b99.

“I can only imagine the horrible things those people you date have to endure in that car of yours,” Minho says, taking a sip of his coffee. It wasn’t sweet and it wasn’t black either, it was a weird mix in the middle; the crappy kind that you love anyway. It’s the kind of good crappy stuff you’d find in the city, but it’s what makes the city a _city._

 

Taemin just sticks out his tongue and gives him a fake laugh. “Haha, well you’ll end up in that car with me when I take you out.”

 

That stupid bet was placed almost exactly a year ago. It was a tie, both of them sitting at sixty-three arrests within the entire year. “Not if I win.” Minho retorts and picks up one of the three case files that sat stacked on his desk. One was a homicide case that had three suspects on the run, and for sure he was going to win this bet. “And you have to get rid of that car. It stinks up the entire parking lot.”

 

“That’s the smell of man,” Taemin argues and points an accusing finger at the older.

 

“I’m a man and I don’t even want to _know_ what that means.”

 

-

 

“One minute left,” Kibum leans over onto Minho’s desk, a perp sitting on the other side. Minho just smiles and kicks his feet onto the table, crossing his arms in front of him. Kibum has offered to help him in these final moments, helping him bring in another one of the thieves and to watch Taemin have to burn his own car. “That car was an utter mistake anyway. Someone who actually _wants_ to have a good date shouldn’t have a crappy car like that.”

 

At that moment, the elevator on the other side of the precinct dings and Taemin walks in, six people behind him and a pair of those wonky glasses on his face.

 

“I hope you enjoy our date,” Taemin says, the cops behind him making a clear pathway for all the people currently in handcuffs. The astonished look on Minho’s face brings him utter joy. He won and now they’re going on that damned date at god knows where.

 

“Why are you wearing those glasses?” Jonghyun asks him, flicking the eyeball that was bouncing off of his face.

 

“The dollar store ran out of sunglasses,” Taemin says quickly, “I wanted to look cool.” He pulls off the glasses in one quick motion and Jonghyun just sighs, his shoulders dropping dramatically. Minho wants to give him something to help him feel better, but the urge to smack Taemin across his face is a lot stronger.

 

“Fine, _fine_ , you win. Where are you going to take me?” Minho says, fists clenched into little balls that Taemin notices and the younger makes a funny noise with his mouth that makes that urge almost impossible to _not_ do.

 

“Well, for your information, I have the perfect day planned out for tomorrow. I’ll text you an address and you have no choice but to meet me there.”

 

-

 

When Minho showed up to the apartment, Jonghyun was sitting on the couch farthest from the room, a suit with a very, very large stain on it hanging on the door closest to him.

 

“I’m very sorry Minho but,” Jonghyun starts, picking up the hanger. Either it was the apartment or the outfit itself, but something in here smelled like a weird mix of charcoal and alcohol and Minho absolutely _hated_ it. “This is what Taemin wanted you to wear.”

 

Of course. He couldn't let him go to wherever wearing something nice, right? A box of chicken nuggets was open on the coffee table as well as coffee turned cold and an iced tea that was melting by the second.

 

“Where _is_ Taemin?” Minho asked the sour smell that radiated off the suit made him flinch, but he had to deal with it because he was the one that _made_ the stupid bet in the first place.

 

“God knows where he is. He’s left a note for you in the pocket though. I’m really sorry, but I don’t think it’s anything good.”

 

Minho slides the suit over his t-shirt and pulls out a yellow sticky note and a partial eggshell and it’s disgusting. He had no idea where Taemin got this suit if it’s even his own or some stranger in New York’s, but it was the worst thing he’d ever had to wear and it was getting worse by the second.

 

_‘Hyung,_

_Meet me down by the parking lot in thirty minutes, assuming you get here and also Jonghyun told you where this is or you found part of an egg from the lump in the pocket.’_

 

He just sighs and waves bye to Jonghyun before heading to the elevator. He felt an odd feeling that something was going to go horribly wrong for him over the next twelve hours.

 

When he met Taemin down by his car, he was wearing an unusually spotty suit and he figured it was so they’d match. Weird smelling, stained suit with the one that looks like it came out of a child’s dream.

 

“I have one question,” Minho starts, opening the pocket on the side again to display the rotting, soggy egg inside. “What is an egg doing in the pocket?”

 

“I was eating it and I didn’t want it to go to waste so I saved it for later.”

 

“Taemin, it’s not even cooked! It’s just a raw egg you have in your pocket!” Minho almost shrieks, but it’s expected from the younger that stuff like this just happens.

 

“It’s good enough,” Taemin says and takes part of the egg out of the pocket and puts it in his mouth. He immediately regrets it and spits it out onto his car. “No, it’s not.”

 

“Well, hyung, we have to get going if we’re going to catch what I have planned for us!” Taemin opens up the car door but then abruptly shuts it, looking Minho dead in the eye. “But listen up. There’s one thing I have to make absolutely clear.”

 

Minho would have backed away but Taemin isn’t all that scary to him anymore. Sure, he was a weird kid when they met but he’s gotten used to his peculiarities and the look that sent many falling in love with him - not himself though - he would know if he was falling in love with someone, right?

 

“No matter what happens tonight,” He starts, moving closer to Minho and now they’re so close their noses are practically touching. “You’re not allowed to fall in love with me.”

 

“Won’t be a problem.”

 

-

 

The two of them end up spending the night going from place to place, Taemin focusing completely on trying to embarrass either them both or Minho. He hates to admit it, but the night itself has been kind of fun with all the goofing off they’ve done.

 

The night feels like it’s just started when they reach a park in the middle of no man's land when Taemin pulls out his phone. Minho looks over to see that the clock reads way past midnight, though he’s sure that they left Taemin’s apartment only mere hours ago.

 

“It’s the captain,” Minho says, pulling out his own vibrating phone from his pocket. “He must need something.”

 

“If he wants to ruin our perfect date, fine.”

 

“Hello?” Minho says over the loud wind, putting a hand over the speaker so Taemin can hear too.

 

“We need you two to stake-out a drop site for a bit.” Their captain, Jinki says, his tiredness seeping through the phone almost making him yawn. “Nobody else was up for it and you two are our last choice.”

 

“Nice to know I was placed right at the top of your go-to, captain!” Taemin shouts at the speaker. “And why would you want to ruin our perfect night?”

 

Minho just sighs, but if he were completely honest he’s still been having a lot more fun than he expected with Taemin.

 

“Judging by Minho’s silence, he would rather do the stakeout too.”

 

“Alright fine, but you owe me money for the monkeys I hired to dance to Lucifer.”

 

“The what?”

 

-

 

The night could’ve gone worse, a bag of peanuts being the only thing between them and their stupid outfits as they look over to the lit up streets of the city. It’s beautiful, for sure, and it’s taking his attention away from looking over to Taemin, who’s trying to eat multiple nuts at the same time.

 

“What’re you doing?” Minho chuckles and lowers Taemin’s hand as he reaches for another.

 

“Trying to beat my record.”

  
“Your record of what, exactly?”

 

“Putting as many things in my mouth as I can.”

 

Minho laughs and so does Taemin and they almost get distracted from the people at the van below them but it’s enough to make him wonder if this is what it’ll be like if he ended up with Taemin of all people. But it’s that exact thought that sends him back to reality and he’s looking down at the road again. Maybe the rest of the stake-out would get his mind off of it.

**Author's Note:**

> :) i hope you enjoyed my brain thoughts <3


End file.
